i always lose friends.

i'm talkin all the time, ya'll.

best friend after best friend after best friend just goes away and leaves me.

and even though i know it's temporary, i get caught up in it sometimes, and it hurts.

suffering and loneliness and depression are very real.

but, upon thinking about this and after a good long wallow in my own self-pity, i've come to two conclusions.

first of all, there is a purpose in all this. in all suffering, God is weaning us from the world, refining us with fire, to trust Him and glorify Him more. so, if i'm getting upset over a lost friendship or the way someone has treated me, it probably means i'm looking at it from a human perspective rather than Biblical. i have to stop and look at the bigger picture, which is this: God loves me beyond what I can grasp. He carries my sorrow and catches my tears. He wants nothing but good for me. His love endures forever. also, He is in total control. so, every person that comes in and out of my life, every relationship that fails, every little thing people do and say to me--God has ordained that it happen. He isn't sitting back idly letting my fate rest in the hands of others, or even myself. He is teaching me to trust Him. He is giving me opportunity to glorify Him. He is showing me that He alone will never leave me and never forsake me. He is teaching me that I have no good apart from Him, and in Him alone I can find joy and peace and comfort and all my satisfaction. if ripping away the world and tearing apart relationships is what it takes to teach me full reliance on God, then it is good. if, in the end, my view of Jesus is greater and He is exalted, then it is good.

secondly, if this pain can be so real to me, in my middle-class american, christian household, life...what must it be like for others? what must it be like for those who don't even have their basic necessities met? People who aren't worried about making and keeping friends, because they are busy finding their next meal. but even worse than that, what about those who don't have Jesus? whether they are rich or poor, popular or shy, black or white or chinese, or whatever. without Jesus, every one of life's little pains can be infinitely worse. i can fight my loneliness and depression with the love of God and the blood of Jesus. but those without that are defenseless. they can try to fill the void with worldly things and other people, but they will always fail eventually. these people need a Saviour, they need someone to lean on and someone to rest their hope in. they need someone to carry them through the pain, and someone who will never let them fall.

no matter how bad my pain gets, i always have this comfort. i have the comforter constantly with me, whispering words of reassurance to my heart.

so, what gives me the right to ever sit and feel sorry for myself when i have a god who is working everything together for my good? god is good, and god is in control.

the best cure for a broken heart is Jesus.

but the next best cure for a broken heart is to help heal other hearts, by sharing the love of Christ.

so. i need to get off my lazy, selfish butt and go help people. there are so many broken hearts and broken people out there in this broken world. they need something, and i have it.

praise the Lord for love. sdg. :)